I was out with some fantastic new friends tonight and we spoke about, as women, the qualities we desire in a man.  My friends went immediately to the lists in their minds - qualities like compassion, well-educated, good-humored were quick to surface.  I realized that I, too, have made countless lists in my life of the ideal qualities I thought I desired, but the lists often proved to be wrong.  Then something dawned on me.  When you're with that person that makes you melt, and your heart beat faster, that list goes right out the window!  So, I asked my friends,

"How do you want to feel when you're with this man?"

And, as we thought about that question, it seemed to cut right to the heart.  The heart doesn't care about lists, it doesn't care if he leaves the toilet-seat up, it cares about being with the person that calls it to life.

So, if you're looking for love, or wondering about the partner you're with in this moment, try getting in touch with how you feel about him or her, instead of resorting to a list of qualities, or a list of pros and cons .  Just ask yourself -

"What do I want to feel with my partner?"
"Am I feeling this way with him or her right now?"
"If not, what is the reason I am choosing this partner over one that could make me feel all that I desire?"