I have been designing and making handbags and jewelry for a while - always just showing friends and family, and sold on the internet, but never sold in public.  So, a few weeks ago, when I was dared to go set up a table in front of the Met (Metropolitan Museum in New York City) I was filled with apprehension.  But, I decided to face my fears anyway! I bought a small table, a tablecloth, and wheeled them, and a few items, over to 5th Avenue in the middle of one sunny Saturday afternoon.  I was mortified.  Here are the thoughts that went through my head -

"What are people thinking of me as I wheel my stuff over to Fifth Avenue?"
"Is it true that I don't need a vending license, or are the cops going to arrest me?"
"Will other vendors be mad that I am infringing on their turf?"
"Will people like my stuff?"

I was shaking with nerves.  I had no idea where to look for space, but found a perfect spot, near a tree, not far from the museum.

Day 1 - I set up my table, put a few items out on it, and sat down.  I had some business cards, and hoped.  A few people came by, though most seemed to want to buy artwork from the people around me.  I noticed that I would need a few props to make my setup more alluring, and took some fast notes.

Day 2 - on Sunday, I bravely ventured right back to my spot, a little better prepared!  This time, I brought my mom.  When we arrived at my chosen spot, mom said,
"Heather, there's a cop right there, do you think it's safe?"
"Yes, mom, it's ok," I replied.
"Heather, the cop is coming over," my mom warned.

Sure enough, the cop did come over....only to caution us that the legs of my table were not opened up all the way and it might fall over!

This time, I made signs, I brought a range of products, more cards, a display for them, too.  And, I had a lot more passerby stop over.  My neighboring vendors came over to see my things.  Many, many people stopped to look at my goods and inquire about cost, and whether I have a website.  I didn't sell anything, but I met a lot of wonderful people, learned a lot from the experience (like, 5th avenue is NOT a good place to sell bags and jewelry) gave away tons of business cards, AND, most importantly, I got CONFIDENT.  It was refreshing to face a fear, and learn that I could turn it into a sense of pride and confidence.

Here's a photo of day 2 -


They say the 3rd time's a charm, and I will hopefully find out when I try again in a couple of weeks.

What talents have you been sitting on for a while, that you can try and show the world?  I dare you to bring your gifts into the public eye and allow people to ADMIRE you!  Make an action plan today - RIGHT NOW - and see if you can take the first step by this weekend.

Good luck!

  

I've been feeling kind of bored and down, recently, a bit stuck in a rut.  Seems like everything is same old, same old every day.  On a whim, I signed of for a class making glass beads. It was a little expensive, but something compelled me, and I had never tried it before, so I thought, "hey, why not learn something new!?"

I went to the class, and it was FABULOUS.  Not only did I learn something new, and try something I'd never done before, but I felt exhilarated to be free to use my creative skills in a new way, and to accomplish so many beads!  (I think I came away with about 50 in 2 short days!)

The bead-making experience added some zest to life for me, gave me something new to explore, and felt like doors opening to a new world where I was free to experiment, make mistakes, and learn from them to make something better on the next try.

It was almost like a deep, meditative experience, where I was completely focused for hours each day, and gained personal insights while coming away with a tangible, beautiful creation that I can share with others.

I'm so proud, I am going to share with you a photo of a few of my creations:


What can YOU go out and try today that you've never done before?  If you're stuck in a rut, this is a great technique to get yourself moving forward!

  

I remember watching the movie Jaws as a child and being terrorized.  It was the most horrific thing I had ever seen and I had nightmares for at least a week.  For years, I would shudder just at the mere mention of the word “jaws”, I felt the fear throughout my entire body, and cringed.

Then last week, while eating a slice of pizza in a small Upper West Side restaurant, I had a wonderful experience.  They had a TV mounted on the wall, and I watched some show where a couple of kids were in a small boat.  Then the scene flipped to a close-up of Roy Schneider.  In that instant, I realized I was about to be subjected to my nightmare movie.  Somehow, though, I couldn’t stop watching.  I stared at that TV as two arrogant teenage boys flirted with two girls on the dock, trying to entice them aboard.  Their 9-year old brother, who is with the boys in the small boat, is forced to leave by some adult who comes by to collect him.  Of the two girls, one is seductive looking, the other more “Plain Jane”.  The blond jumped in the boat, but the Plane Jane character accepted an invitation from the nerdy guy next to her and they wonder off.  I started thinking, “Was that a setup?  Small child gets hoisted off boat, and conservative girl not going to be killed?”

I continued watching.  Off went the boat, and, eventually, there’s Jaws making a b-line….for the boat where a  blond is about to have sex with her boyfriend, only Jaws hits their boat and the boyfriend gets knocked off.  So, now my thoughts were, “is there a message here that it’s bad to have sex as a teenager?” and I laughed.   Next, Jaws pulled the girl and her boat far away from her boyfriend, and as Jaws circled back, the girl screamed to her boyfriend, “Hurry, swim faster!”  and watched him.  I couldn't help speak some of my thoughts aloud, “Are you kidding?  That’s the best you can do?  There’s no oar in the boat?  You can’t try and paddle the boat?”  Of course, the boy got eaten, and then the TV station went to a commercial break.

By this point, I was so disgusted with the pathetic behavior of the girl, and the idea that any teens who have sex are going to become fish food, that it took me a moment to realize I wasn't afraid.  To know this fact was completely empowering.  I declared to myself that “I’m not afraid of the movie Jaws anymore!  In fact, it’s kind of funny, and the special effects look fake!”  I felt released from a childhood experience that I no longer needed, and I haven't had any nightmares since seeing the show last week.

What former nightmares and bad experiences are you still holding on to from years ago?  In thinking about them now, are you still afraid, or can you look at them from a different viewpoint?  Can you realize that you have grown past the fear, and then release the hold it’s had on you so long?  Try it today, you may be pleasantly surprised!

  

I was out with some fantastic new friends tonight and we spoke about, as women, the qualities we desire in a man.  My friends went immediately to the lists in their minds - qualities like compassion, well-educated, good-humored were quick to surface.  I realized that I, too, have made countless lists in my life of the ideal qualities I thought I desired, but the lists often proved to be wrong.  Then something dawned on me.  When you're with that person that makes you melt, and your heart beat faster, that list goes right out the window!  So, I asked my friends,

"How do you want to feel when you're with this man?"

And, as we thought about that question, it seemed to cut right to the heart.  The heart doesn't care about lists, it doesn't care if he leaves the toilet-seat up, it cares about being with the person that calls it to life.

So, if you're looking for love, or wondering about the partner you're with in this moment, try getting in touch with how you feel about him or her, instead of resorting to a list of qualities, or a list of pros and cons .  Just ask yourself -

"What do I want to feel with my partner?"
"Am I feeling this way with him or her right now?"
"If not, what is the reason I am choosing this partner over one that could make me feel all that I desire?"

  

I had a wonderful experience with rain last weekend.  On Saturday night, I returned home after a movie and got caught in heavy rainfall without an umbrella.  With only blocks to go to my apartment, and people racing to find shelter around me, I decided to walk at my normal pace, and allow the rain to drench me.  When I arrived at the front of my building, I just stood still, raised my arms and spun around in the rain.  Then I watched the streets; people were running, others were standing under awnings for shelter, even those that had umbrellas.  They were all avoiding getting wet, while I was reveling in the sensation, the lack of concern, the state of just being. My heart felt joyful in this moment, a spectator amidst a summer storm.

The next day, we had one of those oxymoron sunshowers.  It was such a bright sunny day, I could not believe that it was raining so hard, almost as hard as it had Saturday night.  But this time, no one was running.  Some had their umbrellas down and allowed the drops to reach their skin, some had umbrellas raised, but they all walked at a leisurely pace.  When I got to Central Park, lots of people were sitting on the benches watching everyone pass by, and there were many smiles exchanged at the uniqueness of a shower in the sun.  Everyone was drawn to the light, and the rain was a happy circumstance. I lowered my own umbrella and decided to just enjoy the moment once again.

The experiences made me think of our light and dark sides - we're very happy to spend leisurely time with the brightest parts of ourselves, but we tend to run and seek cover when we are confronted with those dark, stormy parts of ourselves.  I found that while I stood planted and loved the rain, instead of running from it, I felt loved back.  What dark parts of yourself are you trying to get away from?  Is there a way you could stand still, amid the clouds, rain, and darkness, and try to embrace that part of yourself?

  

Good Morning America painted another ugly picture of the economy today and the difficulties job seekers face in today’s market.  They showed some creative ways people are using to get hired, like a woman who turned her resume into a magazine.

It was somewhat interesting to see that creativity is acceptable in a job search, but surely daunting for those people that might be an excellent candidate for a job, but not sure how to put on a “dog and pony show”, or that they even want to.

In my opinion, no matter what the market conditions, a key thing to rely on is your individual strengths.  How have you gotten jobs in the past?  Did you network?  Was it through a friend?  Was it persistence?  Take a good look at the steps you went through to get that job.  You might think it was plain old good luck, but when you really analyze all that led up to it, I’ll bet you’ll find something more concrete.

These are the skills you will be able to rely on, even in a tough market.  These are the assets you have that should help keep your spirits lifted, even if today didn’t bring in any leads or job offers.

No matter what the market, you’re still unique.  You can still ask brilliant questions, find out from people in the company you want to work what they’re looking for, and who your competition is.  If you don’t want to use media or boldness to express your creativity, focus on your uniqueness in your own way.  Don’t let anyone stop you.  And if the first door doesn’t open for you, hang in there, persistence and follow-up are two of the most valuable tools in your search.

  

I always love meeting people who have managed to turn what otherwise might be considered a handicap, or disadvantage into a most wonderful asset.

I met one such woman today at brunch in a diner.  She was seated at the table next to mine. She was very jovial, eyes full of spirit, and looked to be around 70.  I couldn't help but start a conversation with her which started out because she wondered if it was still raining outside, and I let her know it wasn't.  She thanked me, explaining that she couldn't see very well without her glasses, since she is nearsighted.

I related to her completely, being nearsighted myself and wearing my glasses at brunch.  I removed them and told her she looked like a big blur!  She said, as a young girl, she had to wear those big, round, thick glasses and was called 4-eyes.  We sympathized with one another. 

Then she told a most wonderful story about being near-sighted.  As she told it, her face was illuminated and the joy of her spirit came forth.  Many years ago, she served in the Navy, and was on leave in New York.  She made arrangements to meet her cousin, Bernie, also on leave, at the big clock in Grand Central Station.  She arrived at the clock, saw her cousin Bernie, and ran up to him with delight.  She was about to plant a huge kiss on his cheek, when he kissed her full out on the LIPS!  She recoiled in disbelief, and realized her sight had failed her, and she was kissing a complete stranger! 

She giggled with delight at the memory, and I saw that woman still inside of her, full of joy, adventure and fun.  It turned out she is 88 years old, but to me, I saw the inner teenager who turned her trouble with sight into one heck of a way to have fun.  I have a feeling she may still have many a kiss from a handsome stranger in her future! 

  

Over the weekend I read a great book by Ken Blanchard and Spencer Johnson called "The One Minute Manager". 



One of the things that stood out to me was the idea of "catching someone doing things right". In other words, instead of telling an employee where they did wrong, and how they need to change their behavior, you set aside time to praise them for something done RIGHT.

In life, we're all experts at telling:

• our spouse when they upset us,
• our boss that we're frustrated with work
• a subordinate that they didn't make their targets
• a store or company that their customer service is horrible

but how often do we go out of our way to say, "hey, that was a great job, you really fulfilled my expectations!"  I know I'll run right over to a store when something I buy doesn't work properly, or breaks, but I never think to go there when what I bought works out beyond my expectations.  I'll complain to the phone company when they overcharge me, but I never call them to tell them that this month's service met my expectations.

So, I got to thinking, what would my day be like if I focused on what went RIGHT and then gave PRAISE - to myself for meeting a small goal, to the coffee shop cashier for making a great cup of coffee, to my parents or spouse for something that would normally go unnoticed?  I found that the experience makes me feel uplifted, walk taller, smile bigger, because the action of praise for a small deed often sparks something positive in another person, and the feeling is contagious!

Try it out for yourself - notice the reactions you get, and how the action of consciously looking for what went RIGHT in your day feels within your being.

  

We're all really great at recognizing our faults - you know, when you call yourself an idiot or stupid moron because you made a "bad" decision, or forgot those notes for the presentation you're giving your Vice President in 15 minutes, or taking the subway one stop too far...but how many of you acknowledge yourself when you do something great?

Sometimes, that wonderful accomplishment goes unrecognized, because, to you, it seems really small.  Taking a moment to give directions to someone who's lost, finishing that book you procrastinated on, pulling together a fantastic presentation for your boss, working out 20 minutes instead of sitting on the couch....

Instead of beating yourself up this next week, try acknowleding yourself once a day.  See how it feels to say "hey, I am really proud of myself!" for a change.  How do you face the day when you start focusing on your assets and accomplishments?

Try it!  See what happens!

  

What's your personal vision - that picture of yourself in your mind at work, or in your personal life, where you are everything you want to be?  The one where, if everything in your life were going perfectly, you would be that person you envision?  Your vision could be having a job you love, finally taking that trip you have always dreamed of, launching a small business that turns into a huge success, try and think about what excites you in life, and where you feel happiest and strongest.

How would you like to start being that person TODAY?  NOW?

If you know what your personal vision is, you can begin making it your reality, starting right now.  When you decide to move towards your vision, you can begin to realize the steps you need to accomplish to reach that vision.  In so doing, you will also begin to notice what's going on around you that does NOT contribute to your vision, and take steps to shift your energy away from these situations, and toward your goals.

It's a beautiful experience, as a coach, to watch a client state their vision, and then watch them blossom into that vision and become more confident, more purposeful, and more happy in their everyday life.

Creating and holding that vision allows you to put your most passionate self into the world, and in so doing, make the world a more beautiful place.